I have been pursuing medical care at the maximum
rate the system allows - dead, dead slow.

Wheel of Diagnosis turn, turn, turn, tell which entry in the DSM III that we should learn.

The opinion is leaning towards Borderline
Personality Disorder, for the summer.

In other news I have a blog
again and I have been playing facebook
a lot.

I briefly decided trying to retire from politics/philosophy/current events.
This is due to having rampaging asshole attacks while discussing them

As I write this I just antagonized anti-war activist and heroine Cindy
Sheehan by having a poorly formatted opinion.

I was miserable and felt like I had just cut loose a huge part of me in order
to try and satisfy everyone.

So I decided to go ahead an have opinions and look at my favorite websites
and listen to my favorite podcasts, I just wouldn't discuss them with anyone.

I am working on that.

I am working on getting diagnostics and treatment for my Adenoids
- I am hoping for an Adenoidectomy.

I am also working on getting treatment for my deviated
septum, hopfefully a septoplasty
will fix things.

If this works, and has a positive benefit on my Obstructive
Sleep Apnea, then my goal is to get a class
A CDL and head out over the road.

I hope that I can ... make some progress. I'll keep you updated.

-*-

What I am working on. This varies. The problem is this - Over the last 15 months
I have been wrestling with bad depression.
(As opposed to good depression?) I mean occasionally suicidal depression, and
often the really bleak stuff where life is a hopeless death march to oblivion.

One of the symptoms of a bout of depression is that whatever I am working on
at the time looks shallow, retarded and like a total waste of time. "There
is no way any one sane is interested in [Foo]."

When I recover from the episode (As much as I ever do these days), what
I was working on still retains that mental image of being retarded bullcrap.

The only way I know if a project is valid or is really retarded bullcrap is
when I get outside feed back.

So, if something I was doing worked for you, please let me know. It all looks
like brain damaged crap to me, right now. I could be wrong. Way wrong. But I'll
never know it by myself.

Please keep in touch and we'll see you next time.