Saturday, June 26, 2010

I have been pursuing medical care at the maximum
rate the system allows - dead, dead slow.

Wheel of Diagnosis turn, turn, turn, tell which entry in the DSM III that we should learn.

The opinion is leaning towards Borderline
Personality Disorder
, for the summer.

In other news I have a blog
again and I have been playing facebook
a lot.

I briefly decided trying to retire from politics/philosophy/current events.
This is due to having rampaging asshole attacks while discussing them

As I write this I just antagonized anti-war activist and heroine Cindy
by having a poorly formatted opinion.

I was miserable and felt like I had just cut loose a huge part of me in order
to try and satisfy everyone.

So I decided to go ahead an have opinions and look at my favorite websites
and listen to my favorite podcasts, I just wouldn't discuss them with anyone.

I am working on that.

I am working on getting diagnostics and treatment for my Adenoids
- I am hoping for an Adenoidectomy.

I am also working on getting treatment for my deviated
, hopfefully a septoplasty
will fix things.

If this works, and has a positive benefit on my Obstructive
Sleep Apnea
, then my goal is to get a class
and head out over the road.

I hope that I can ... make some progress. I'll keep you updated.


What I am working on. This varies. The problem is this - Over the last 15 months
I have been wrestling with bad depression.
(As opposed to good depression?) I mean occasionally suicidal depression, and
often the really bleak stuff where life is a hopeless death march to oblivion.

One of the symptoms of a bout of depression is that whatever I am working on
at the time looks shallow, retarded and like a total waste of time. "There
is no way any one sane is interested in [Foo]."

When I recover from the episode (As much as I ever do these days), what
I was working on still retains that mental image of being retarded bullcrap.

The only way I know if a project is valid or is really retarded bullcrap is
when I get outside feed back.

So, if something I was doing worked for you, please let me know. It all looks
like brain damaged crap to me, right now. I could be wrong. Way wrong. But I'll
never know it by myself.

Please keep in touch and we'll see you next time.


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